we have officially lost it.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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