Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
