Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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