Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
