this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
