Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
