you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
