do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
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