I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
