if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
