I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
