Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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