i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
