He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
