Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
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