I am spending my child support on dildos
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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