stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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