I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
