My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
