On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
