Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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