Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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