It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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