I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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