Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
My penis needs a shock collar
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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