giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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