He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
