Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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