I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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