when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
