mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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