p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
