Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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