Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
