'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
