my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
