does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
