no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
