I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
