He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
