I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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