im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
