Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
do herpes really smell.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
