we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
