Whatcha textin bout Willis?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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