nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
