i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
