dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
