Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
