I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
