Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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