how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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