I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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