Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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