I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
